The 2024 T Dog Media Turkey Awards

Chicago sports teams and politicians dominate the list

[Editor’s Note: This post was updated on November 29, updating and switching around entries due to Matt Eberflus’ firing, which took place earlier in the day, and again on December 9 to add two new entries.]

If 2024 is Chicago’s worst year ever, this list sums up everything that’s gone wrong.

From Trump’s reelection to heartbreaking Bears losses to the White Sox’s historic feat, no one would be happier to see 2024 go than many of us as the city’s reputation continues to sink. 

We weren’t alone in our struggles. Linear TV is arguably worse off as cord-cutting continues amid its decline, and primetime on broadcast networks is becoming more irrelevant.

And it’s amazing how certain names continue to show up here year after year…the Bears, White Sox, Reinsdorf, whomever the mayor is…rinse, recycle, repeat. 

So here they are, the nineteenth annual T Dog Media Turkey Awards “winners”:

Matt Eberflus. The repeated lack of leadership reared its ugly head on Thanksgiving Day as the coach failed to take time out to stop the clock with some 40 seconds remaining in the fourth quarter, ensuring a loss and even defending his actions in the post-game press conference. His nonsense cost him his job, and he was fired Friday. Ehberflus finished with a pathetic 14-32 record – third-worst in team history, proving that he had no business being head coach like the last three idiots who held the position.

Chicago Bears. The horrible leadership in Eberflus’ now-former organization is amazing, not to mention the new stadium debacle, as the team can’t decide whether to move to Arlington Heights, stay on the Lakefront, move to Ford Heights, or the moon. The play on the field is even worse, as only these clowns would get beat on a last-second Hail Mary attempt, and of course, the Thanksgiving Day clock management debacle mentioned above. This is the ninth time the NFL Lakefront Team has made it into this column since launching in 2006.

Kamala Harris and the Democratic Party. I’m sorry I have to put them here, but getting blown out in an election – to Trump of all people requires soul-searching as they failed to connect with voters – even in deep blue places like Chicago, where Trump got 22 percent of the vote. Like our sports teams, it’s time for the Dems to go through a serious rebuild.

Chicago White Sox. 41-121, worst team in MLB history. Nothing more left to say.

Jerry Reinsdorf. Like Matt Eberflus and Brandon Johnson, the longtime White Sox and Bulls owner needs to go. And he has the nerve to ask for $2 billion in public subsidies to build a new stadium for his worthless ass team. 

John Schriffen. Hired by the White Sox to replace Jason Benetti, dumb catchphrases (South Side, Stand up!!!!), and being an arrogant ass makes this already unwatchable team even more unwatchable. 

Bulls fans. If Chicago’s reputation wasn’t shot to hell enough, booing Jerry Krause’s widow in January at the United Center in a “Ring of Honor” ceremony cemented this city as a joke. 

NBA Finals. This year’s edition was more remembered for Jimmy Bulter’s asinine Bad Boys commercials and people dancing and singing about medicine than the actual series, which saw the Celtics take out the Mavs in five as viewers tuned out. 

CHSN. The new home of the Bulls, Blackhawks, and White Sox wasn’t able to get carriage on Comcast/Xfinity but added an over-the-air outlet – on a digital subchannel of a station some viewers can’t get. 

ESPN cable. From Elle Duncan (who?) to Stephen A. and their unwatchable programming before 11 a.m. Central Time and non-Scott Van Pelt editions of SportsCenter, the network that charges cable companies $10 per customer for carriage is one of the reasons why our bills are so high. It’s the ripoff of the century.

MSNBC and CNN. Viewers bum-rushed for the exits after the elections ended, raising speculation about their future – especially MSNBC, which is being spun off with other NBCU cable networks to a new company as cable continues to decline. 

Dish and DirecTV. What happens when two faltering satellite TV companies try to merge? A comedy of errors, as Dish’s bondholders said no.

Paramount Global. The for-sale parent company of CBS Chicago laid off fifteen percent of its workforce but yet had funds to pay Disney for Family Guy reruns to air on Comedy Central and hiring Lori Lightfoot for a stint during the DNC. Meanwhile, CBS-owned stations are forced to air drab graphics with dumb branding (KCAL News on KCBS-TV) while languishing in the ratings basement. The trio of CEOs at Paramount are making former CBS chairman Larry Tisch look like William Paley. 

Mayor Brandon Johnson. What if you combine John Schriffen with Matt Eberflus? You get the Mayor of Chicago, who shows the combined qualities of both as he is arrogant AND lacks leadership. 

Tiffany Heynard. Here’s a crazy idea: What if a star from the Real Housewives of Atlanta went into politics? Even though she never appeared on any reality show (that we know of), Dolton residents aren’t fantasizing about it; they’re living the nightmare. 

Andrew Holmes. The Chicago media superstar known for showing up at crime scenes, who is also a Dolton trustee, allegedly sexually assaulted a woman in a Las Vegas hotel room, and of course, police dropped the charges. And guess what? He’s back in front of the cameras. 

WGN News. Taking a Hard Copy/A Current Affair approach, their “investigative” reports on Laquan McDonald and SpotShotter were produced as if the subjects were episodes of 48 Hours and Dateline, taking serious issues and turning them into “news entertainment”. More proof Nexstar has ruined this once-great news station for tabloid-like nonsense. 

Crowdstrike. This cloud-based security firm struck out after feeding a faulty update to Microsoft Windows last July and crashed, impacting banks, airports, and broadcasters. 

Merit Street. If you thought the launch of CHSN was botched, Dr. Phil’s new network couldn’t get sufficient coverage (Comcast also wouldn’t carry it) and wound up laying off employees just months after launch.

Elon Musk. Swear at marketers who want nothing to do with your platform, sue them, and get a spot in Trump’s cabinet. Any room for Reinsdorf and the McCaskeys? 

Chicago Tribune Editorial Board. In June, the hedge fund newspaper published an editorial calling Chicago Sky player Chennedy Carter’s hard foul against Indiana Fever’s Caitlin Clark “an assault”. Guess someone needs to keep up the tradition of racism at the editorial board since John Kass left. 

Drake. A late entry here: the Canadian rap star is suing Universal Music Group because he believes the music conglomerate is artificially boosting streaming numbers for Kendrick Lamar’s diss track about him, the wildly popular Not Like Us, the modern-day equivalent of Carly Simon’s You’re So Vain.  Yeah, Drake, this song IS about you. 

Universal Basic Guys. Fox animated sitcom featuring two South Jersey guys who get a government check for nothing doing, the most sitcomy of sitcoms ever. The plot change should be interesting when President Trump returns to the White House and ends the program; their upcoming job search should be quite the LOL-fest.

Chicago Blackhawks. On December 5, the team fired coach Luke Richardson after two-and-a-half years amassing a 57-118-15 record and is in the bottom of the NHL for the second straight season. Aspiring to be the Bears and White Sox is something that should be avoided at all costs.

T Dog Media. Yes, even your friend Terence got one this year as the annual Super Bowl Commercial Review was rife with errors (including misidentifying Alicia Keys’ If I Ain’t Got You as Sonny & Cher’s I Got You Babe) and wrote an article with an editing error stating Trump received 78 percent of the vote in Chicago. Good Grief!

Happy Thanksgiving! 

To read past editions of the T Dog Turkey Awards, click here.