The 2013 T Dog Media Turkey Awards

The 2013 Turkey Awards includes... a blizzard of sharks?
The 2013 Turkey Awards includes… a blizzard of sharks?

It’s a blizzard of turkeys!

Welcome to the 2013 T Dog Media Turkey Awards, where every Thanksgiving, we serve up turkeys of bad TV, bad radio, and bad decision making in media for the eighth consecutive year.

This year, we have 24 turkeys to hand out. So batten down everyone, because here they come!

Crowd Goes Wild. Fox Sports 1’s new afternoon sports/entertainment show is so bad, Regis Philbin couldn’t save it.

American Idol. If the show wasn’t likable enough, the idiots who ran this fixed karaoke contest hired dueling divas Mariah Carey and Nicki Manaj as judges and viewers ended up fleeing for the exits. At one point, Idol was getting beaten by 39 year-old game show Wheel Of Fortune.

Chicago baseball. For the second year in a row, both the Cubs and White Sox give us a reason not to tune in.

Houston Astros. …though it could be worse, Chicago baseball fans.

Katie. Can someone put this show out of its misery? Please?

Bethenny. Calling all my girls! Um… where are they, Ms. Frankel?

The Test. If they were testing this new syndicated show with Kirk Fox for entertainment value, it flunked.

Rachel Shteir and Jon Stewart. Bashing Chicago, each for different reasons – one wanted her fifteen minutes of fame; the other thinks deep-dish pizza is “a marinara swimming pool for rats.” Want some turkey to go with those rats, Jon?

Comcast Sportsnet. In the latest episode of “political correctness run amok”, the Chicago outlet axed Susannah Collins because of some racy sports videos made in 2009 no one watched thanks to Blackhawks owner Rocky Wirtz, and dropped former Illini hoopster Kendall Gill after a off-camera altercation with Big Ten Network’s Tim Doyle.

Meanwhile, CSN Houston is one big mess – they filed for voluntary Chapter 11 while the Astros’ owner is suing them, saying they want to do so to get out of their “partnership”. If I had to air a team that scores a zero rating, I’d get out, too.

Big Brother. Never thought highly of this program, but this show hit a new low this summer by allowing contestants to hurl racial, sexist, and homophobic slurs at each other. What show do they think they’re on, Jose Luis Sin Censura?

Do Not Harm. A neurosurgeon by day, a serial killer at night. Seriously, is this what the broadcast networks are offering us in 2013?

Ironside 2013. Blair Underwood as a wheelchair detective? No thank you.

We Are Men. They were menLasting just two episodes, CBS mercifully pulled the plug on this unfunny vehicle.

Super Fun Night. It was certainly fun for Carnie Wil – I mean Rebel Wilson and her buddies, but not for the viewer.

The Goldbergs. From an industry who wants to be stuck in the ’80’s comes an unfunny and unneeded sitcom based in the ’80’s, stealing a title from a sitcom produced in the ’50’s.

Lucky 7. You mean unlucky –  sacked by ABC after two episodes.

Cult. A drama about a TV show called “Cult”. Wondered if the script called for it to be beaten in the ratings by hockey games, Montel Williams infomercials, One Day At A Time reruns, or by a NBA matchup featuring two under-.500 teams?

Y’all FM. Imagine a radio station seguing from Frank Sintara to Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake into Jimi Hendrix. Well, this dream – or nightmare – actually became a reality in Birmingham, Ala. last July.

Fox 32’s newscasts. Turning a eye to local items: Wow, talk about a disaster on all fronts – in the ratings and PR. “At the tipping point”, indeed.

Fox 32 GM Dennis Welsh’s “editorials”. Do you care what the general manager of a TV station thinks about pension reform or education? I didn’t think so.

WIND-AM and “Rep.” Joe Walsh. Hiring this racist, sexist has-been politician is only a testament on how bad decision-making runs rampant in Chicago radio.

Mancow. Perhaps the biggest turkey in all of Chicago media (and that includes his idiotic TV show watched by only 16 viewers), someone needs to punch his mouth shut. Or just punch him.

Garry Meier. His acceptance speech at the 2013 Radio Hall Of Fame induction ceremony: “I thank nobody but myself”. Well, he might as well has said it.

Sharknado. This SyFy made-for-TV movie is the ultimate testament to lists like this. For 2014, maybe we should rename the Turkey Awards… the Sharknado Awards.

And who knew Tara Reid still had a career in Hollywood?

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!