The 2012 T Dog Media Turkey Awards

Yes, a monkey can be a turkey.

Get the cranberry sauce ready: it’s time for the 7th annual T Dog Media Turkey Awards where every Thanksgiving, yours truly honors the worst in the media business for the year and 2012 is filled with so many media turkeys!

Without further ado, here are this year’s, um… “winners”:

Animal Practice. Premiering after the Summer Olympics (or more aptly put, interrupting the Closing Ceremonies), this awful NBC sitcom lasted all of six episodes before being sent back to the Humane Society.

The Manono Tribe on Survivor. In a move that actually makes the 2012 Cubs season look good, the all-male tribe on Survivor: One World won an immunity challenge – and decided to forfeit so they could vote out someone they didn’t like (the best part was, none of the guys made it to the final five.)

Chicago Baseball. The Cubs lost 101 games while the White Sox finished in second place and still couldn’t draw fans.

Fox 32 News. And speaking of not drawing, WFLD still can’t get viewers to sample its newscasts. Maybe a merger with the White Sox could help?

NBC’s Olympic Coverage. Oh, where do I begin with this one?

ChicagoSide. The unoriginal, fledgling frat-house sports website hired woman-beating loser Jay Mariotti to write columns bashing Chicago sports teams from his Los Angeles-area home.

Miami Marlins. Another team where, despite a new stadium, couldn’t draw. After a tumultuous season after they fired manager Ozzie Guillen, they traded away much of their starting lineup, angering an already dwindling fan base.

FM News. One of the biggest flops in radio history, Merlin Media mercifully put this embarrassment out of its misery in July, almost exactly a year after it launched.

WIQI. And what about its replacement? Two weeks into a 90’s-like format, they add more contemporary tunes and became a Mix clone.

Those Blago Billboards. Yet another entry from Merlin Media: in one of the most idiotic marketing campaigns ever created, FM News put up billboards featuring disgraced former Governor Rod Blagojevich stating “He never listens to FM News”. How odd – so did no one else. A bad eyesore became even uglier to look at when station officials plastered a yellow smiley face over Blago.

Jonathan Brandmeier. His new WGN Radio morning show surprisingly was a ratings disappointment.

Sun-Times. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian actually made the front page of the paper in April… not to mention giving columns to Jim Belushi and Jenny McCarthy and putting a story about Rev. Pflager complaining about The Bachelor front and center on its website. Well done, Michael Ferro! (By the way, the Tribune is still no better.)

The NHL. There’s another Lockout? Didn’t they solve the problem the last time around? Moreover, why is Gary Bettman still commissioner?

The NFL. Locking out the referees well into the regular season wasn’t exactly the best idea.¬† A settlement only came after a replacement referee botched a very crucial call in a Packers-Seahawks Monday night Football game, giving the latter team a victory.

WLS-FM. Cumulus dumped the Oldies format after seven years for a me-too Classic Rock format, playing Van Halen and Fleetwood Mac ten times a day like every other Classic Rock station – not to mention shoving Dick Biondi to a late-night shift and limiting the radio personalities to eight words an hour.

Typical radio station management. Excuse me, but since when Khloe Kardashian (who briefly hosted the lunchtime hour at Dallas’ KDMX) actually had the talent to host a radio show? What in the name of Jim Laski is going on? The stupidity of the radio industry never ceases to amaze me.

Rush Limbaugh. Speaking of stupidity in the radio industry, his comments about Sandra Fluke came as no surprise. What else you expect from a racist, sexist, pill-popping idiot?

Dish Nation. And if you want a front row seat every night to see why radio is dying, this nightly syndicated piece of crap is the place to be.

NATO Coverage. Chicago journalism embarrasses itself with their over-the-top annoying coverage of the world event at McCormick Place, including recycling outdated stereotypes about Chicago and their obsessiveness with foreign journalists’ perception of the Windy City. The kicker is, one local station actually won an Emmy with their coverage.

X Factor. Wasn’t Britney Spears and that other girl supposed to bring viewers to Simon Cowell’s singing contest? Instead, ratings are down from last year.

Tuesday night single-cam comedyapalooza. Want to know why broadcast network TV is a joke? How about NBC, ABC and Fox all scheduling similar comedies against each other on Tuesday night? Not surprisingly, none of them are doing well in the ratings.

The Mob Doctor. With a 0.8 demo rating, can someone tell me why Fox hasn’t canceled this show yet?

The Ricki Lake Show. I guess hosting a talk show isn’t necessarily better the second time around.

The Jeff Probst Show. The preferred choice by viewers living in hell. The tribe has spoken.

Glass House. When a contestant says cheesy lines like “I want to be the most hated villain in reality TV history”, you know it’s time to change the channel. This ABC reality series, a ripoff of CBS’ Big Brother, never resonated in the Nielsens.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I take it back. This is the preferred choice by viewers living in hell.

Happy Thanksgiving!