Ugly Betty’s "blog"

(Back when I started this blog in 2006, I promised at least a satire piece on the industry. Well, after nearly four years and 1,844 posts later, I finally deliver!)

I came across this blog “written” by Betty Suarez, who “works” at “Mode magazine” in New York. Strangely enough, it was found on ABC’s website. It’s titled Be inspired, whatever that means.

So I did some searching on the Internet for more on Betty… and volia! I stumbled onto her Twitter page! This is what she posted in the last 24 hours:

– 05:30 am – Wake up – My sister Hilda is talking in her sleep on how dreamy Conan O’Brien is.

– 05:31 am – My nephew Justin is talking is his sleep on how dreamy David Letterman is (ugh.)

– 08:30 am – Arrive at Mode – Amanda does her daily middle finger routine at me

– 09:24 am – Thought of the ex…. hasn’t been the same since he got killed on that Harper’s Island show

– 10:00 am – Daniel decides to scrap Mode cover featuring Conan on cover – replaces him with Jay Leno

– 10:15 am – Wilhelmina complains she didn’t get Tonight Show job

– 10:35 am – Amanda tries to have me deported – again

– 10:55 am – Daniel bores the office again about his cameo on My Name Is Earl.

– 10:56 am – You know, the episode where his acting career begins – and ends

– 11:07 am – Wilhelmina complains about how people mistake her for Vanessa Willams

– 11:08 am – … she says “I can’t stand her… she’s nice and has all these Grammys. Where the f*** is my share?”

– 11:29 am – Pass Amanda in hallway. Says to me “Hi, Meg Griffin”.

– 11:29 am – Return greeting: “Oh, hi, Mrs. Rush Limbaugh”.

– 11:50 am – Wilhelmina brags in office how much she currently bagging Jimmy Fallon in the sack

– 12:05 pm – Watch Fallon online at desk. Makes fun of current girlfriend – “Worst sex I’ve ever had.”

– 12:10 pm – Shut off Fallon, returned to work –  putting me to sleep

– 12:33 pm – Posted this blog item:

– 01:13 pm – Go to psychic during lunch – his name is Mark Nielsen.

– 01:24 pm – Says I will be out of job by May and Mode magazine will close.

– 02:03 pm – Daniel says don’t worry about it. “If those ‘Heroes’ can hang around…”

– 02:04 pm – … “Our bosses… the one with the mouse ears… are always committed to underperforming properties.”

– 07:00 pm – Arrive home. Hilda’s boycotting NBC because of the way they treated Conan.

– 07:01 pm – I tell Hilda people have been boycotting NBC since 2004. Where’s she been?

– 08:30 pm – Helped Justin with his homework. Asks why Tom Coughlin still has a coaching job with the Giants and why Jeff Zucker is still employed at NBC.

– 10:00 pm – Turn on Leno. Fails to make me laugh.

– 10:03 pm – Turned to WABC. OMG! Is that me on TV? I really do look like Meg Griffin! Oh God…

– 11:35 pm – Hilda’s watching Conan, of course. Her drool is making a mess of the couch.

– 12:05 pm – Next day, go back to psychic. Predicts my next job will be at NBC as Jeff Zucker’s secretary.

– 12:06 pm – All of a sudden, I feel very ill….