The 2008 T Dog Blog Turkey Awards

Well, it’s that time of year again… It’s Thanksgiving… and it’s time for the third annual T Dog Media Blog Turkey Awards, celebrating the worst in media. Gobble, gobble…

– Media Rights Capital’s Sunday lineup on CW. The network leases its Sunday lineup to MRC, and programs it with junk like Valentine and Easy Money. The results? CW’s ratings go even lower – lower than even TV preacher shows Paula White Today and Dr. James D. Kennedy. The CW recently took back the night to program, albeit with reruns. Praise the Lord!

– The Detroit Lions. This is history, baby! 0-16!

– NBC. The Ben Silverman era makes me long for the Fred Silverman era. Is a remake of Supertrain on tap?

– Joe Ahern. The WBBM-TV boss was canned for being unable to translate his success at WLS-TV to the beleaguered CBS-owned station – and not to mention making station employees pay for his lunches…

– The FCC. An award for the third year in a row. The agency is more concerned about indecency than the upcoming analog-to-digital TV conversion. Don’t worry – the kids will be protected because if they don’t have cable or satellite, they won’t be able to turn on the TV come February 17.

– The Parents Television Council. It just wouldn’t be the T Dog Media Blog Turkey Awards without this group showing up here.

– Nine-FM. This turkey finally flew the coup in October after four non-productive years of “We Play Anything.”

– HD-DVD. Tobisha’s attempt to compete with Blu-Ray in the race for the next generation of DVDs fell apart with a mighty dud, with Blu-Ray declared the “winner”. Or is it the loser? Sales of Blu-Ray players have been quite lackluster since HD-DVD’s demise.

– The Cubs. It’s gonna happen. Well, it didn’t.

– Star Wars: The Clone Wars. The debut of the TV series scored the highest ratings ever for Cartoon Network. So what? The movie – which came out in August – flopped with audiences. Sorry, but a turd is still a turd.

– Jay Mariotti. This jive turkey decided to fly from the Sun-Times coup, beliving “newspapers are dead”, but a few days later, he interviews with the Tribune. A gobbling, gobbling liar.

– The return of Mancow and Delilah. You know the statement “You always can’t go broke underestimating the tastes of the American public…?” So true.

– Fox News’ E.D. Hill. She reported the fist-bump gesture Obama did with his wife was a “terrorist fist-jab.” – something Howie Mandel also does on Deal or No Deal because he is a germophobic. Well, Obama is President-Elect, Howie still has his job, and E.D. Hill’s career in journalism is over, as Fox declined to renew her contract.

– Randy from Survivor: Gabon. Is this guy a potential Fox News hire or what? This guy made Omorosa and Johnny Fairplay look like Donny & Marie. With Alan Comes gone, now Randy can team up with Sean Hannity for the “Hannity & Randy Hour”. Now that’s a hour of must-see (or flee) TV!

– The Simpsons’ That ’90’s Show episode. Nothing smells like desperation like a “Jump the Shark” stunt like rewriting the back story of the series because the writers ran out of ideas. You guys are lucky the fans are this forgiving… unlike in the next example…

Heroes and Tim Kring. The biggest turkey of 2008 is this current season of Heroes and features the worst storytelling I’ve seen anywhere in recent memory (and I’ve seen Barbershop 2.) Too many characters, unbelievably dumb plots (Hiro thinks he’s ten?), abandoning storylines without closure, and horrible, horrible, writing and acting. The result? Ratings are down by 40 percent this year compared to last.

And then there’s Heroes creator Tim Kring, while at a recent screenwriting expo, called his fans “saps” and “dipshits” for watching the series live as it airs and not figuring out how to watch the program in a more superior way, i.e. DVR and DVDs (He has since apologized.) Hey “dipshit”, I have one word to call you and your stupid show- asinine. You’ve lost this viewer. How about a pumpkin pie to the face, you sniveling jackass?

Happy Thanksgiving!