The 2017 T Dog Media Turkey Awards

Welcome to the 12th annual T Dog Media Turkey Awards – celebrating the worst in media, sports, and life in general.

This year, 23 recipients (including three turkeys sharing an award) have the privilege of getting the Golden Gobblers – we have numerous politicians, sexual harassment predators, and woeful Chicago sports teams, making every night a Netflix or Hulu night. And the losers are:

Donald Trump. If you have to ask why the President of the United States is on this list, maybe you should just stop reading  now.

The FCC. Let’s see…pulling a scam by reinstating the UHF discount even though it was a holdover from the analog era…approving a new ATSC 3.0 standard forcing us to buy new TVs…relaxing media ownership rules…reducing the lifeline program…and oh, scrapping net neutrality. Not since the Kevin Martin era Americans hated this “agency” so much.

Sinclair Broadcasting. And thanks to the useless, bought-off FCC, the company is in the process of buying Tribune Media (owners of WGN-TV and WGN-AM), using them for more leverage over cable operators on retransmission consent fees – oh, and promoting a right-wing agenda. I can see WGN news viewers heading toward the exits.

Soda Tax ads. These inane political-like commercials for Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle’s now-defunct penny-per-ounce soda-tax to raise revenue in the guise of “saving children” and having “dialysis centers” on every corner reached levels of absurdity I couldn’t even possibly describe.

Chicago Bears. On to sports…losing, losing, and more losing. This is what it would look like if Charlie Brown had a football team.

Cleveland Browns. Wait a minute… no THIS is what it would look like if Charlie Brown owned a football team (and the team has the word “Brown” in it.)

Chicago Bulls. So two players get into a fight and they’re still on the team? Only in the infertile minds of John Paxson and Gar Forman, who even made Sam Zell and Randy Michaels look competent by comparison – and who thought that was even possible!

Nashville Predators fans. So this is what it’s like when you fill an arena with 18,000 Scrappy-Doo-like people with their moronic chanting. At least they’re not saying “Puppy Power!”

Jay Cutler. The former Don’t Care Bear bails out of his Fox Sports broadcasting gig before the season and becomes QB of the Miami Dolphins. Jay Cutler: He passes, the opposing team’s defense catches. The winning stops here.

Megyn Kelly vs. Kelly and Ryan. Turning to TV, a rivalry between two unwatchable pieces of crap most people couldn’t give two shits about. Even the rivalry between the NHL’s Florida Panthers and Tampa Bay Lightning seems more intriguing.

 Inhumans. Thor: Ragnakok aside, maybe Marvel mania is finally running out of steam given this dud of a TV show.

Law & Order True Crime: The Melendez Brothers. The ten-hour miniseries was about as interesting as the case itself – it wasn’t.

Candy Crush. What happens when you turn a bad mobile game into a bad TV show? Exactly.

APB. Computer technology is used to track down criminals on Chicago’s streets on this Fox show. Hell, even Lost In Space was more realistic.

Time After Time. In one of the most ridiculous premises ever for a TV show, H.G. Wells goes from an author of “The Time Machine” to a fictional character on an ABC show based on his own work. And you wonder why viewers are bailing out on network television.

Dirty Dancing. The 1987 theatrical returns as a horrible TV movie. Checking… yep, the TV movie is still dead.

The Radio Broadcasters Of Chicagoland. Twice this year, this group aired a “roadblock” of sixty-second commercials across all Chicago radio stations during rush-hour to remind us how great radio is for advertising. Great for them – not so much for the listener.

Chicago bashers. This is the type of group who have the 1957 film Beginning Of The End on a loop, grasshoppers devouring Chicago (or really a photo of the Wrigley Building) and all.  Hey MAGA peeps: you hate our city – we get it already.

Comic Book Resources (CBR.com).What was once a great site for comic book reviews and information has turned into another entertainment site with clickbait articles and what celebrities had for lunch. Why is a comic book publication covering what happened on Cheers 30 years ago? Coming up next, a review of the latest Spider-Man issue followed by one for the latest Demi Lovato record.

Comic-Con HQ. The now-defunct video on-demand service was supposed to give us the “best of Comic-Con.” Instead, it became a channel of unwatchable junk, with nothing from the San Diego gathering. Bad sci-fi movies are only great if the MST3K crew are commenting on them.

Disney. The Los Angeles Times investigated the company for its dealings with the city of Anaheim. The reward? Their film critics were banned from their special screening junkets. The freedom of the press shouldn’t have a price.

Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose, Kevin Spacey, etc. and anyone else who admitted to sexual harassment – your plane is boarding because your careers are over. Your bunk beds at Alcatraz are waiting for you. Oh, and don’t drop the soap.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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