Allen Gregory: Worst. Sitcom. Ever.
Welcome to the 6th annual T Dog Media Turkey Awards! Every year around Thanksgiving, yours truly hashes out the worst in the media business – in television, radio, and sports. So bring out the stale stuffing and expired cranberry sauce! It’s time to go gobbling!
And the “winners” are…
Charlie’s Angels (2011). Watching this lame revival of the 1970’s classic, it seems Charlie’s Angels were ready to shop at the mall rather than fight the bad guys. Farrah Fawcett would not be proud.
CBS 2 News. The third straight appearance here for this news organization run by The Church Of Tisch. The latest screwup? The station maliciously edited a clip of a four-year old making it seem he wanted to be a gangbanger with a gun instead of a police officer when he became an adult – and it wound up on their barely-watched morning newscasts. It’s like former news director Carol Fowler never left. Speaking of which…
Fox News Chicago. The Windy City’s other joke of a news operation, WFLD continues to embarrass, thanks to Fowler and GM Mike Renda. Another perennial turkey on this list.
NBC. This is the fifth straight appearance here, as the network is still in fourth place with mostly unwatchable shows. The hottest program concept they have on tap? Fear Factor.
All My Children’s finale. The soap ended its 41-year run on ABC with an odious cliffhanger, to be continued on its new online home at Prospect Park. Oh wait, there’s going to be no web series after all (or for the other canceled soap, One Life To Live.) Good job on the Capitol-like cop-out, guys.
ABC’s Brian Frons. And what about this exec’s decision to cancel All My Children and One Life To Live for the boring Chew and sure-to-bore Revolution talk shows to begin with? You sure ABC didn’t poach Fions from NBC, WFLD, or WBBM-TV’s newsroom?
WLNE. The Providence ABC affiliate (who went into receivership and sold) pre-empted a local newscast in March to air a Wonderbra infomercial at 7 p.m. On second thought, this might not be a bad idea – if this were WBBM’s or WFLD’s newscasts that were being pre-empted.
Charlie Sheen. Yeah, he “winning” – fired from Two And A Half Men and now starring in something called Anger Management from the same people who brought you Tyler Perry’s House Of Payne.
WWWN. Yeah, they’re “winning” too (its in the call letters) – Merlin Media’s new all-news station in Chicago has been plagued by low ratings, technical snafus and little to no marketing or promotion. A textbook way on how NOT to launch a radio station.
Harry Teinowitz. This is what happens when the ESPN 1000 co-host partied with Charlie Sheen too much: Teinowitz was charged with DUI and was suspended for a few weeks. Great role model.
WLUP. A “format adjustment” under former Emmis management at The Loop means you get to hear Def Leppard, Van Halen, and Boston ten more times per day! What an improvement!
WWE. Did anyone think announcer Michael Cole could wrestle? Having Vince McMahon blow himself up in a limo again made more sense than this.
Chicago baseball. Ozzie Guillen quit the White Sox before he actually quit the managerial job while Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano walked out on his team. And Chicago sports fans fled for the exits from these two sorry teams even before all of this happened.
Ozzie Guillen. And speaking of Ozzie, enjoy managing your new Marlins team in front of 25,000 empty seats per game. This turkey should’ve flew the coop after the 2009 season.
Indianapolis Colts. as of November 27, the one-time Super Bowl Champions still haven’t won a game this season. This is what you get when you follow the Chicago White Sox blueperint on trying to win another championship.
Miami Heat. LeBron James assembles a “dream team” and still couldn’t grab the NBA title.
The NBA. There’s an NBA lockout? Well, whadda know…
Vancouver. Aren’t the city’s fans supposed to riot when the team wins the Stanley Cup?
Jeremy Kyle. I never thought anyone could make a conflict talk show boring. But somehow, this twit from Britain actually achieved that goal.
The Paul Reiser Show. This has-been actually headlined a show? Only on NBC.
Cumulus and Clear Channel. There is something wrong when these radio corporations are best known for their constant layoffs than for the programming they provide (which isn’t worth talking about. Is there really demand for a Ryan Seacrest radio show?)
Whitney. Would this show be funnier if it were headlined by Whitney Houston rather than Whitney Cummings?
OWN. Ratings are so bad for Oprah Winfrey’s new cable network, their programming is even being outdrawn by NHL games. Wow, she left daytime TV for this?
Chicago newspapers. Are newspapers dead? Judging by the lackluster quality of the Tribune and Sun-Times lately, we may be close.
H8R. Canceled after four episodes, this was a series where non-fans confronted celebrities they hated. And the point of this show was…
Allen Gregory. Also destined for the T Dog Media TV Hall Of Shame, this has got to be the worst sitcom to ever air on television (aside from 2009’s Comedy Central bomb Secret Girlfriend). This idiotic animated farce from no-talent hack Jonah Hill makes My Mother The Car, Gilligan’s Island, and According to Jim look like Emmy winners.