The Toilet Bowl of 2007

There were a lot of forgettable moments in media in 2007, and we have them right here… First, let’s start off with the year’s worst TV, from #10 to #1:

10) The O’Reilly Factor (Fox News): This show still sucks.

9) Around the Horn (ESPN) Ditto.

8. Chicago Sports (various channels) What a great year for Chicago Sports! The Cubs imploded in the playoffs, the White Sox didn’t even make them, the Bears – fresh off playing in the Super Bowl – stunk up the joint with the play of alleged “quarterback” Rex Grossman, the Bulls’ poor play this fall (with the coach getting the ax), and The Beaver – Jay Mariotti. Who needs Cavemen when when you have bad TV like this in Chicago on a regular basis?

7) Bionic Woman (NBC) Bad remake of a bad TV show that was canceled by two TV networks in the 1970’s.

6) Online Nation (CW) How many viewers watched this show, you ask? 50? 100? 200? 4? Whatever the number, it was enough to shelve this piece of junk after four weeks.

5) Pirate Master (CBS) A Survivor rip-off that lasted walked the plank after five weeks. Aarrgh, matey!

4) Kid Nation (CBS) See above, except that this show hasn’t been canceled yet.

3) Anchorwoman (Fox) One episode was more than enough for this “experiment”, which wasn’t entertaining given the hell we were put through this past summer with the Amy Jacobson/Craig Stebic fiasco.

2) Cavemen (ABC) In 1964, CBS gave us Linus the Lionhearted, a Saturday Morning cartoon based on a line of Post cereals (including Sugar Bear.) In 2007, ABC gives us a TV show based on an insurance ad. Man, how times haven’t changed. The only difference between Linus and Cavemen was Linus actually had talent behind the characters – something Cavemen apparently lacks (and to you smart-asses who said I haven’t watched a single episode of Cavemen – I did. So there.)

1) Viva Laughlin (CBS) Two episodes, done in four days. The only surprise here is this show was even worse than Cavemen.

DISHONORABLE MENTION: The Bachelor (ABC), 1st and 10 (ESPN), I Love New York (VH1), John from Cincinnati (HBO), Journeyman (NBC), National Bingo Night (ABC), The Singing Bee (NBC), Temptation (syndicated), WWE Raw (USA).

WORST PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR: Sanjaya from American Idol, who thankfully faded from the spotlight. Now, if only Randy, Paula, and Simon (and this stupid show) can do the same…

WORST COMEBACK OF THE YEAR: Britney Spears. Her performance at the MTV Video Awards was as about as bad as the show itself, and her new album flopped – with two singles from her CD failing to break the top 10 on Mediabase’s Pop Chart. Don’t worry Britney fans (if any), she still lives on every night in ET/Extra/Access:Hollywood/Insider/TMZ/E! land.

WORST TEAM: The Miami Dolphins. Well, duh?

WORST PROMOTION OF THE YEAR: The Aqua Teen Movie promotion in Boston that went awry. Didn’t exactly drive people to theaters to see the flick. Hey Aqua Teen guys – stick to the small screen.

WORST PROMOTION OF THE YEAR (Chicago Edition): Hiring 83 year-old Bob Barker to promote Q101’s The Morning Fix, with billboards across the area featuring him telling listeners to “get fixed”. After six months, it was The Morning Fix that got neutered.

WORST MOVE BY A CABLE NETWORK: From a Toon fanboy perspective: Cartoon Network airing 5 hours of Scooby-Doo a day. And you thought Deal or No Deal was overexposed… Well, at least none of those episodes had Scrappy-Doo in them.

WORST MOVE BY A RADIO STATION: WGCI-FM firing Crazy Howard McGee for the comic stylings of Steve Harvey.

WORST COMMERCIALS: Those unfunny “Epic Movie”/”The Comebacks”/”Meet the Spartans” spots. And you thought the current crop of sitcoms on TV were bad. These movies makes Cavemen look like The Dick Van Dyke Show. Almost. Followed closely by those inane “What would Chicagoans do without their Comcast “spots with the Bears’ Brian Urlacher (be a lot happier.)

WORST PLOTS OF THE YEAR: Take your pick: Vince McMahon’s “death” on WWE Raw or Meredith Grey’s “death” on Grey’s Anatomy? Whatever the case, those stunts made those programs even more popular. Somebody, please explain this to me…

WORST REALITY FIASCO: The Pussycat Dolls’ reality show, a program featuring the sextuplet (and I use that term loosely) music group that was looking for the next “doll” – a program ignored not only by men, but also by the targeted female audience. Well, the Maxim Magazine babes found her – and she promptly quit.

THE DEVA VU AWARD: To WLS-AM overnighter Nate Clay, who jokingly promised listeners one thousand dollars for anyone who could identify the person who wrote the classic song “Stand By Me” (which was turned into a techno-pop hit this year under the guise of “Beautiful Girls” for Sean Kingston.) Clay was suspended for the incident. In 1988, WLS-AM overnighter Mike McDonald jokingly promised “the keys to a brand-new shiny Porsche” to a listener who could correctly answer a question. He was fired.

THE “JUMP THE SHARK” AWARD: ESPN’s widely panned Who’s Now segments on SportsCenter. And even worse, PTI’s Michael Wilbon actually defended them. Man, oh man Wilbon, you’ve been hanging around Jim Belushi too much.

THE LAST WORD: This list isn’t complete with the writer’s strike. With those guys on the picket line and more “reality” programming expected, rest assured there will be plenty of worst programs on this list for 2008 starting with Celebrity Apprentice.

(Editor’s Note: I accidentally omitted one show in the dishonorable mention category – ABC’s “National Bingo Night” and corrected the spelling of “Journeyman” – T.H. Updated 2008-01-02 at 2:23 p.m.)

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